UPDATE 4/17/2023


Hi, guys. What's up?
How did your week go? Mine was depressing :')

Today, I find myself grateful. Grateful because I've finished Bermuda and handed over the proofreader to someone I trust... Because my mind went blank last week when I opened the doc. document for the artbook...

I'm sorry everyone, as much as I wanted to make some progress for the artbook, I can't seem to find the motivation to do anything after my day job. Not because I'm physically tired, it's more like my mind doesn't want to do anything these days. My heart feels heavy, I think I'm still grieving. We have cremated Kiara and spread her ashes to the sea, but I miss her very much. Whenever I'm stressed out, I would always hug her and bury my head into her fluffy neck fur. She has the softest fur I've ever known, but she's gone now... I hug Juno very often now, but it's not the same. Rather, I've become more cautious and dread the day when Juno will also leave me.  He's 7 years old now and while I don't want to think about it and cherish the present, Kiara's passing made me think about a lot of things. The funny thing is, as a doggo lover, I know the risks, I know the joys and sorrows that comes with it. But like a masochist, I keep coming for more :'))

One good news I can tell you is I've backed up Bermuda in my HDD. So I don't have to worry about anything happening to it. I just need to wait for the proofreading to finish and polish it again. As for the artbook... please bear with me, I'm still trying to get my mindset back on track. I'll also still write updates every week to let you know what I've been up to. 

With that said, for now, I will busy myself with my day job and try to find peace by hugging/petting Juno. He is very obedient these days and no matter how hot the weather is, he'll still let me hug him... here's hoping I'll return to my usual self soon ><

Until then, please take care of yourself and stay healthy!
Don't skip your meals, drink lots, and rest plenty!
xoxo,

SweetChiel

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Comments

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Congrats!  Though take your time, you're grieving,  a lot of people will understand. The pain of loss doesn't go away  just like that. It takes time.  Don't be  hard on yourself, let yourself grieve. Don't force yourself to move forward too quickly, it won't work well. Trust me I know the consequences of pushing yourself to move on. It ain't pretty.

Thank you, princessbarb21 :')
Yes, thank you for your kind words and for the advice. I can only hope that time will heal me. The memories are still fresh, but while I think I still need a bit more time to be more stable, I feel a bit better now (I will write more about it in today's update). 

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Congrats on the finishing it up and it's also okay to be mentally exhausted, you've had a stressful couple of years and stuff is AAAAAH. Grieving also comes in waves and mental stress def can make stuff go blank. Just know you're important and be gentle to yourself, it's okay that stuff got overwhelming.

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To describe this year... 'AAAAAH' is just right, Seraiden X'D
It's really full with ups and downs. I'm a bit better now, but my heart still need a bit more time to settle down. Thank you for being here and for your kind comments every week, having you guys here are the reason why I'm still going strong!

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Take your time. I can relate as I lost a very beloved pet of mine a month ago and it still hurts. Of course, it is a bit different as she was a leopard gecko (her name was Bella!) but I owned her for 12 years and she was a big part of my childhood. I still feel sad passing by the empty space and knowing she isn't there anymore. I'm a writer so her passing really gave me writer's block and set me back for a while. It takes time to get through things like this. Sometimes it could help writing about (or drawing in your case) a picture of your pet but is not an activity for everyone. I also had that paranoid feeling that my other pet, a 10-year-old pug would pass, and would often wake up in the middle of the night to check on him. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can move forward while still remembering the fond times you had with Kiara.

As for finishing the game, I am very excited. I love Legend of the Winged Ones and have followed the development of Bermuda Triangle since you first announced it although I've lurked for a while without many comments (maybe one or two!). I am thankful that you have kept us updated on your progress and I hope it is a big hit!

Thank you, SecretTruth.
I'm so sorry for your loss :'( every pet, no matter what their species is, will always hold a special place in our hearts. I know exactly what you went through. I find myself looking at the old photos & videos these days... The tears are still coming, but I'm a bit better now because of what happened last week (will write more about it in today's update). Still, I think I need a bit more time before my heart can fully settle down and focus on the present :')

And I'm very glad to meet you! Thank you for accompanying me since the beginning of the development! It was a long journey and we can see the finish line now. All of our hardwork and your patience will finally bear fruit. Let's walk these last steps together X')

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Take your time to grieve. A part of your life has been taken from you, it's normal to lose motivation from that. You are amazing for getting this far, and I hope you understand how far you've made it even with life being the way it is.

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Thank you, tinygremlinqueen :')
True...  every time my doggo leaves me, they also took a small part of my heart. I still remember the names of my doggos... from the first to now... I'm a bit better now but I think I'll need just a little more time :')

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Heyy, it's always hard to lose family and we all know that our dogs are exactly that, part of our family and whoever denies it is a damn fool... I feel so much for you <3 My dog passed away 5 years ago, but I miss her everyday... damn has it already been 5 years? Time passes so quickly. I grew up with her and she was my everything, so I know what you are going through and honestly, take your time to grieve and give yourself some peace, we all understand :) 

It must've been hard to have her pass away in your arms, but at least she knew you were there and that you cared for her until the end. She'll always be in your heart and one day remembering her will fill you with more joy than sadness :) I can tell you that from experience.

Take your time, take care of yourself and allow yourself to be sad, we'll be here supporting you <3

I know, right? Kiara was 6 years and Juno is 7 years now...
It feels like it's only yesterday that I took care of them as puppies :') I'm always saddened by the fact that they live far shorter lives than us... it was too soon. People say pets are just trouble, we keep giving and they keep taking, but oh how wrong that is. Pets give us so much more than what we give. They taught us how to love, how to care, loyalty, commitment--they give us so many things that sometimes cannot be achieved/learned from school/society. 

I thank you for being so understanding and for being here, Sazura :')

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Hi SweetChiel :)

I remember how long it took for me to not feel overwhelmed with grief when my dog passed away two years ago. It was a long and sad time with many times feeling like I've made no process and I was back on square one. I still feel a little sad when I think of her but it's ultimately thoughts of fondness and gratitude that we had each other for those years. I really feel for you, Kiara was beautiful and sounded like a wonderful and sweet girl. 

I'm glad you have support and other things to pass the time. Take all the time you need for things pertaining to this game, we all understand :) sending you tons of love <3

Hi, ro-ses!
That is exactly how I feel... I try to cheer myself up, but failing each time I see things related to her. But you're right. Someday, I'll be able to look back and think fondly of them. She was beautiful, a loyal companion, and always there when I need a hug. I'm a bit better now but I think I need just a little bit more time--so thank you for being so understanding and for reading my updates :'D